Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Bottom of the Second

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The week before his second surgery was a good week. I had spent 16 weeks struggling with "the peace that passes all understanding".

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

I had a sense of peace but still wasn't at that point of transcending all understanding. My understanding was that I might lose my husband, and how could any good come of that????
About a week before surgery Pastor Juan spoke about letting satan curse us with our own tongue. It was almost an epiphany for me. I had been letting this go on for years. I was able to take my own thoughts captive, to stop the forever running tapes of "I'm a loser, ugly, fat, failure, etc." they've tried to sneak in a couple of times in the last two months, but I refuse to listen. I am a child of the most high God!

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

Also, three days before the surgery we were in Phoenix for his MRI. Now Dave is not a communicator, I on the other hand, can talk communicate all day.  there was lots of drive time, so I tend to ramble. I was going on and on about my struggle with true peace in this whole situation. Dave actually interjected several times with many words of wisdom. About having faith, him knowing all would be as the Lord has planned, and not worrying.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Luke 12:25

So in my passionate ramblings I said "I just want the peace that passes all understanding!" several times while banging on the steering wheel. I guess I finally meant it, because the gracious Lord granted it. From that moment on I have felt peace regardless of the "what ifs", or how Dave is feeling that day, or what the doctors have to say. I now have the faith to go wherever God wants to take us. What I want doesn't matter. I still pray for complete healing for Dave, but I know whatever happens, to God be the glory.
So Dave headed into surgery, he was grateful for the doctors who wanted to be aggressive. He was not into the wait and see thing, he wanted to fight as hard as he could. Both of my grown boys waited with me until surgery was over. They got to see him for a minute or two in recovery before they left. I was grateful for their support.
The surgery was successful, all tumor removed, as well as dead tissue from the radiation. Th surgeon said only healthy pink tissue left. They also placed 8 chemotherapy wafers directly on the tumor bed, the most allowed. Praise God!


  1. Teresa, you story and the fact that you are sharing it with so many is your truest ministry. You can help so many with your words. Thank you for sharing and being such a brave and true believer. I know that we must travel on the path that God sets out for us, and sometimes it seems all to unbearable. We are just humans and tend to try to control our destiny. I know many times I have felt that what I am doing is all too familiar, and realize once again, I have allowed the thoughts that I am unworthy and unlovable. I am assured that I am truely a child of God and that he loves me. Thank you again for sharing that what you know to be true!

  2. Hey Teasa!!! It's Kira!! We're all soooooo proud of you and are praying hard! We love you all and we want you to know we're all here for you!!! You're like my second mommy and i love you so very much!!

  3. Hey Aunt teresa it's nora! I just wanted to tell you I've been following your blog and I love you all so much!