Love and Marriage 3

Where's the drama? I can hear you asking. Believe me, there was plenty. I cried so much I thought I would run out of tears. Funny how you never do. In the first two months of our separation I lost 50 lbs. No kidding. Near as I can remember, I just stopped eating. I made sure the kids were fed and just sort of forgot about myself. I don't remember being conscious of it, I just recall people suddenly commenting on my weight loss. Oh, you look GREAT! Of course they had no idea of the tortured feelings inside. It was weird, like if everyone was complimenting you on your weight loss caused by cancer.
Anyway, there was lots of drama, things we shouldn't have said, things we shouldn't have done. But there is couple of reasons I am not sharing those details. I am choosing my words very carefully because:

My children can read.

The details would edify no one, it would be like gossip.

I don't want to embarrass anyone, including (especially) myself.

So let's continue. After 2 years of separation and about a year of divorce I was engaged to a very nice man. A fireman in fact, I guess I have a thing for civil servants. I can't remember exact timing, but I think about 3 or 4 months later Dave came to me and said he wanted his family back.

Oh

Really?

OK, this sort of throws a wrench in things. Really Lord? That's what I was thinking. I fought hard for my family for two years. I told Dave repeatedly, once you divorce me, that's it. And NOW he wants to come back? I told Dave I would think and pray about it. I told my fiancé, he said he of course wanted me to say no, but he would be patient with me and respect my decision.
After not too much agonizing I felt obligated to my kids to at least try to put my family back together. I felt no great burning passion for Dave, but I did feel that I had to try. So I broke up with my fiancé, he was surprisingly understanding and it was a very calm conversation. Daddy came home that night after work and saw me hugging ex fiancé goodbye. Daddy freaked out, ran upstairs to kiss the boys, then left, saying he was not coming back.
OK, now I hated daddy. I had finally gotten off of the emotional roller coaster of the separation, then let him back in my heart and I get this? More pain and drama?
I WAS PEEVED!